Life Lessons

So it has been awhile. I would like to say that I have been off vacationing on some remote tropical island but alas reality would say otherwise. Actually I am convinced that my life is more busy than ever. Which I suppose is not a horrible thing, just exhausting. Our family has been blessed over and over again. I am always grateful for our blessings and the lessons that come from them.

After months of looking and wondering if there would ever be employment, Tom has landed himself the best job. He had applied out at the site (INL) over a year ago and after fourteen hundred applicants and only ten spots, he was chosen to work for CH2W DD crew. Fancy way of saying that he does just about anything they ask him to do. After twenty five years of working fast to get to the next job to make money, the government has really given Tom a paid vacation. Yes he actually gets paid to work and does not have to worry about getting paid. It is really fun! Anyone who has owned their own business will understand the worry that comes along with working and then wondering about getting paid. This is good!

However it has somewhat left Mike afloat. So we make new goals and move forward I tell him. Easy for me to say. Mikael's best friend came home from his mission and this was a really good thing. Josh and Mike have always been a really good thing. I never worry when Mike is with Josh. I hope that as Josh moves forward, he doesn't forget Mike. It happens...and well I hope it doesn't.

Alyssa has struggled this summer. She thought that she had life figured out. Or maybe I thought that we did. I have come to realize that although I am clear about what needs to happen, she is not. This is not volume 2 Kim, this is volume 1 Alyssa and I don't get to make the decisions, I only get to lead and hope that she follows. After some very intense tournaments, during a very short period of time, with high scoring and nasty competition, Alyssa is wondering if she is making the right decisions for her future. I sound calm now...but really after much prayer and fasting, I have come to the conclusion that I raised Alyssa to be her own person. She will make the right decision for her whatever it might be.

Jaxon... just goes with the flow of life. As long as there is a ball in his hand and somewhere to play, he is happy. Oh and lots of company. This is a boy who does not do well without social interaction, much like his sister. Always going and doing. He is really getting excited about our trip to San Diego. I have to admit I am too. I have planned it out to the last detail with the hopes it will be a good time.

Overall it has been a busy summer with good life lessons. Not life shattering just good solid lessons on how to be a better person. Loving more, smiling more, working hard, playing harder and enjoying the journey!

Adventures of Prom

Alyssa got asked to Commencement

this year by a young man from Denmark.

Joe told Alyssa that he wanted to go to his only American

dance with the most beautiful American girl.
Her dad thought that was a really bad pick up...but then he is the dad.

The pic above is the group of kids

that went four wheeling in the mountains.

Her dad thought this was a really bad idea but a better

one than going to Lagoon for the day.

Especially considering that State golf was in Coeur d'Alene only

two days later.

We all thought that she looked beautiful.

She couldn't think of how to pose so I just kept snapping pics:)

In my mind, Cinderella could not have been more beautiful!

I Wish

There are many things that over my lifetime, I have wished for.
Who hasn't?

But as I get older

although I am fighting that process tooth and nail...

I find that the things that I wish for

involve a process of turning around

and changing

what I did in the past.

Nice wishes but impossible.

I wish I took more pictures.

My children would disagree that I took plenty
but I love to look at the photos I did take

and smile at the memories of those times and places

and little faces smiling back at me.

I wish I had told my friends and family

I loved them more.
I was telling a story about my Grandma Rose (my dad's mother)

the other day and realized that as much as I loved her

I don't think I told her as often as I should have.

This wish includes those who I might not have gotten along with at the time

but learned to appreciate later.

For instance,

years ago when I was a brand new nurse,

I worked with a very old nurse,

Lola Swinyard.

At the time of our employment together,

she constantly "rode" me to do this or that better.

Lola was the kind of old nurse that got to be the head nurse

because people trusted her to get things done.

She believed that nurses

should wear white...white hose, white shoes, white dresses and white caps.

Because they deserved the respect of those they cared for.
I did not appreciate her insightfulness at the time.

I wish I had told her thank you

because I am a better nurse today because of her.

I wish I had been more humble

and given the Lord more credit for all the really amazing things

that have occurred

in my life.

Not all of them have been wonderful or easy.

In fact, most of my life experiences have been difficult

but very rewarding in the end.

In being humble,

I wish I had spoken to Him more.

Mostly in gratitude

but supplicating earnestly for help and direction.

I wish I could forgive more frequently and easily.

Just letting go of the hurt for long enough that I could see better.

I find it very difficult to let go of the wrong

either to me or that I have wronged. To just forgive others and myself.

I know I should do it but struggle with the process.

Here is my biggest wish

I wish I could go back

and hold my children closer and tighter

and whisper in their tiny ears how sweet and dear they are to me.

It was so easy to get caught up in the details of life.

Work, church, household duties, activities...

But now that they are "too big" and "too busy"

I wish that I had held longer when they did crawl on my lap

if only to commit the sweet baby smell to memory

and run my fingers through their soft little people hair

and listen to their uncomplicated and undemanding wants.

I wish I had held their hands
and kissed their cheeks
because now to kiss and hold and even to speak is way too uncool.

And through my wishing,
I learn to hope.

Hope that I can change just enough that I don't feel the need
to go back

and change what I wish

I had done.

All Star

I am trying my limited technology hand at adding pictures to my blog...

let's see how it goes!

This last weekend, Jaxon attended a basketball camp

Adidas

Jr. Phenom.

The camp was for 5-8th graders.

I thought it would be fun...

I think Jaxon would argue that the fun statement

was kind of an understatement.

It was very physically, mentally and emotionally exhausting.

As a mom, it was difficult to see them work

my "little" boy so hard.

The camp started at 8:00am in the morning

and ended at 5:00pm.

Straight basketball games, drills or technique.

Jaxon met lots of people...

coaches, parents and players

that he would have never met had he not attended.

Campers came from 5 neighboring states

as far away as North Dakota.

Most of the boys had amazing talent,

my boy included.

One sixth grade boy commented to his dad after playing against Jaxon

that it was like a different planet.

Nothing he had ever seen before.

One of the coaches,

Coach T

commented to Tom that Jaxon did a move on him

that he had himself had tried but never actually accomplished.

Side note: Coach T played for Borah High School

the year that our Madison Team beat them.

The picture above is what resulted from two days of camp.

All Star Team

Seven from each grade.

These boys were then given an invitation

to attend a national camp in San Deigo.

Invitation only.

Jaxon was one of those boys.
The All Star team was chosen based on not just good ball handling

BASKETBALL SKILLS

but on what kind of person the boy was overall.

Was he a good sport?

Did he have a good attitude?

Did he put forth his all and follow directions?

Was he a good good player by himself and as a team?
All those things we already knew about our Jaxon!

The next several pictures are from the All Star game!

Number 53 is one of Jaxon's team mates from the Hathaway Madison team.

Three of the All Stars were from Madison!

I think that says a lot for not only our basketball program

but our boys.

Jaxon said it was hard and fun to play against Curtis.

He knew his moves but then Curtis knew Jaxon's too.

Jaxon has skills!


The coaching staff was amazing and so were the other players.

It helps to have a "wing" span of six feet

always rebounding.

The experience was amazing.

We got to see all the super wonderful things ahead for our son!

So San Deigo

hopefully here we come!

I Know

I found this several years ago and have found it to be true time and time again.
Thought I would share...


Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves...who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented or fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a Child of God.

Your playing small doesn't serve the world.
There is nothing enlightening about shinking
so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others the permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

Marrianne Williamson

Car Facts

It was time to have my car serviced. You know that thing we have to do every 3000 to 5000 miles depending on what kind of oil that is being used. I usually have it done at a little car wash/service station that my son use to work at. Mostly because of loyalty. The people who own this particular business were very good to Mike and they usually do a really good job. But when we bought our car back in November,

the dealership gave us a coupon that I thought sounded like a pretty good price.

So I loaded up Mikael and we went to get the car serviced.

Now I probably ought to preface this story with some information about me. I grew up the daughter of a diesel mechanic who not only taught young men how to tear apart a tractor and put it back together but also "fixed" cars in a shop behind our house every night and Saturday to make extra money. I was a parts runner for a couple of years in high school for my dad. The smell of oil and fuel brings back some of the sweetest memories of my father. If I wanted to talk to my dad, I had to go sit on the stool in the shop and speak to the feet. He was usually "buried" underneath somebody's car where only his feet were visible. When I became old enough to drive, the requirements at my house were that you not only take Driver's Education but Big Jim Education. This meant you knew how to change a tire, change the oil and change a spark plug. So I am not some wimpy girl who knows nothing about air filters and manifolds. Now don't get me wrong, I do not love cars the way mechanics do. I am a nurse for a reason. So I am more than happy to turn servicing my car over to the professionals.

Ok, so Mike and I go to the dealership, hand over the keys to my Rav 4 and retire ourselves to this little room off the main shop to watch American Pickers on the History channel. Mike is not terribly happy that I have brought him along for the ride. We are there for about 10minutes when the first guy comes in and announces to me that my transmission fluid is black. Just black. "Oh...Ok...what exactly does that mean?" I ask him. He shakes his head and looks down at the floor like he is giving me the most tragic news ever. "Well...it means that it needs to be replaced." "And how much will that cost?" I ask him. I have become quite the negotiator in my economy situation. He quickly answers that it will cost approximately $180.00.

Now I remind him that I just bought my vehicle four months ago and shouldn't that have been something that they checked before they sold me the car (while I choke on the $180.00 prospect). He gives me some explanation of how they usually only replace it every 60,000 miles or so but mine is so black.

I realized how upset this young man is about my "black" fluid

but frankly it will have to wait I tell him.

So he leaves us to watch the two men on American Pickers "rob" an old man out of his hidden treasures, knowing all the while that they will go back to New York to unload their purchases on the wealthy

who in turn will pay top dollar for antiques.

10 minutes later another young man comes in with a filter of some kind. Not an air filter but something that filters my heater and air conditioner. He has brought it with him to "show" me exactly what the problem is. It is black. "How much does it cost to replace it?" I ask him. "$10.00" he replies. "OK...I can afford that. But again how is it that none of this was checked four months ago? He can't give me an answer

but seems a little happier that I let him change this.

10 more minutes and I look up only to see another young man rolling something our direction. Instead of coming and getting me and asking me to take a look at the atrocity on the tire of my car, he decided to bring it to me. "Mam, your tire has a nail in it." Sure enough, there it is. What has me baffled is why the whole tire had to give up its spot on the car to reveal itself.

"Do you want us to fix it for you?"

I am beginning to see a pattern and Mikael has begun to laugh himself into a coma at this point. "No...No I don't want you to fix it. I will take it to the place where we get our tires from...thank you:)" He continued to make quite a case about how it would be unsafe for me to drive any farther than I needed to. And I assured him that I wouldn't be driving more than necessary just to the other store where they would repair my tire for free.

Finally, with the car in moderate repair, we were given back the keys. Just as I had promised, I drove to the tire store and asked them to repair the nail in my tire. Mike and I go to the designated room where Myth Busters is on the TV. I like this particular store as they have windows and popcorn. The old fashioned kind with oil and real popcorn that cooks in one of those old popcorn cookers. We had settled in eating popcorn and watching TV when a nice woman who looks like she really loves tires (if you know what I mean) approaches me and Mike. "Um...we got that nail out of your tire but did you realize that your tires are bald?" "No...No I didn't...but you know what I will have my husband check that out and we will get back to you!"

I grabbed Mike and vowed to stay out of shops, car dealerships and tire stores for at least another 3000 miles or so.

Or send Tom next time.

Yah, I like that idea a lot better.

Fear

I am not a big fan of scary movies!

I am and for as long as I can remember have been afraid of the dark.

I have raised two children so far that are equally terrified of the dark...unless we are talking about night games in the yard. Then it is ok to be in the dark.

But usually with another person.

You know just in case.

JUST IN CASE WHAT?

I have been thinking a lot about fear lately.

I have come to the conclusion that it is far too overused

in just about every aspect of our lives.

Examples from my life...

The Dark

(it gets to be capitalized because it can be so scary)

driving on slick roads or in insane big city traffic

(just tried both of those recently on the way to Boise)

children driving

(being the parent of children who now have the ability to procreate (not by permission yet)

and destroy life puts everything into perspective)

technology

(someone can steal my identity or look at my pics on facebook

and I can't do much about it)

getting older

(my body stopped behaving itself)

Need I Say More

I have also decided that fear keeps us from trying things that just might move us in the right direction in life. I have come to believe that this happens to us throughout our lives.

I really want my children to be able to

Keep moving forward

in life.

I want them to make the choice based on right and wrong,

not scary or comfortable.

Fear verse Faith.

Faith to step out of the light and into the dark

knowing that if it is a decision based on righteousness

the light will follow.