"NoRmaL"

Just when I get lulled into thinking that my life is somewhat normal, I am pulled back by an invisible string that seems to be attached to the middle of my back. The "string" jerks me back into remembrance that although I am very grateful for my life, it will never be what I had envisioned for myself when I was mapping out the greater scheme of my journey. I imagine that it like I am walking down a narrow road that is lined with boutiques with large picture windows (you know the one's that use to be) and all the normal lives that everyone else enjoys are inside these little buildings. Everyone and everything is arranged just so. The things that occur inside as I watch appear to move with smooth precision, void of chaos. I watch this as I walk along the sidewalk of my life, where there are so many outside pressures free to intrude on my little family and our lives. Many times I find that "green monster" of envy building inside, because that is where I was suppose to live. However, then I remember that somwhere in time, I was given the choice to live inside one of those buildings and live in magical normalcy. But instead, my personality (built on fighting for what is right and just), looked at the situation as an opportunity to prove the unjust wrong. Right the wrongs!

I just read a story about a sixteen year old girl who will never grow bigger or older and her mother made the comment People magazine that they wouldn't change a thing about her. And my thought was "she is a liar". I adore my child with his disabilities. I love him with the entire package. But if someone said that for a million dollars I could cure him of his traumatic brain injury, I would move heaven and earth to pay it for the cure. I realize that this is not a popular concept for those who support disability movements, because normal is only a setting on a washing machine. But I find myself bombarded by the opposites in my life. Weary for the time and energies that it takes to care for my son's needs and grateful that he doesn't require more. Happy that with all the obstacles in his life, he has so much to give. Proud that despite his disabilities, most are unaware of his needs, sad that because of this the world doesn't acknowledge how truely wonderful he really is. Wishful that one day his burdens will be lighter, guilt ridden because then mine will be too. Caught between what should be and what really is!

When he was small, it was so easy to mold the events around him so that things could appear like I thought they were suppose to. I invited his friends over to play so that I could watch the social interaction more carefully. I wanted to surround him with children who would be there for him when times got tough and unknowing children were mean. I didn't realize that as they grew, they would move on without him, leaving him alone anyway. I taught him that it was possible to accomplish anything he put his efforts into. I watched him practice basketball and golf for hours to perfect his abilities, only to have no one really appreciate the amazing beauty of a boy who plays them one handed.

I love my boy, disabilities and all.

But...well I guess I don't have to go there because I already made the decision and so did he.

"State"ments

So the summer is quickly coming to an end and I am sad...it has been a really fun summer. I have had the opportunity to watch my children do the things they love and I have grown to love them more. I know it seems that all we do is golf...I think I covered that in my very first blog. So I am sad that fairway watching is winding down for the summer. But here are the highlights:

Teton Lakes Junior Championship: Alyssa Edelmayer - 1st
Jaxon Edelmayer - 3rd
Taylor Chevrolet 2 person best ball: Alyssa Edelmayer and her uncle Carl - 1st

State IGA Junior tournament: Alyssa Edelmayer - 6th overall

Hershey Local and State Track Meet - Jaxon Edelmayer - 1st 100 yard dash age 9-10
longest soft ball throw age 9-10

It isn't that they are spectacular (we know they are) but they are excelling at the things that they love. They have passion for something that belongs to them. I love to watch them doing the things that make them most happy.

Let's go Golfing!

For the past month we have lived golf. I wish I were kidding but almost literally it has been next to breathing the sport. Especially Alyssa, who has developed the most awesome tan to go along with her amazing drive. If we aren't playing it, we are watching someone else play it. I use the "we" term loosely because "I" don't really play. I go out and swing at the ball and occasionally it takes flight in one direction or another. While the other members of my family, grimace and attempt to encourage my futile efforts at pretending that I am really enjoying this ridiculous sport. I have however really enjoyed watching my children become successful at the game. Alyssa has travelled all over the state of Idaho to play (and I mean all over too) as well as learned to play really well in rain (something we have had plenty of). She has a beautiful,long drive and if she could figure out her short game, would be touring with the LPGA. As I have learned it is an extremely difficult game. Most day exhausting, frustrating, mind-boogling among other adjectives that come to mind.

One of the courses that Alyssa recently played was Shadow Valley in Boise. A couple of years ago, Mikael played there for the Special Olympics. His dad was amazed at how tremendously well he did and we were all really proud of him. Not until I walked the course with Alyssa did I realize what a truly amazing feat he had accomplished. This course is brutal and for anyone let alone a one handed golfer to go out and golf an 83. Needless to say, I think he needed more than just a gold metal.

Like last summer, I encouraged Jaxon (who is great at any sport he tries) to play golf. It's easier if we are doing "like" activities, I say and if you don't love, love baseball I just don't have the time. So I signed him up for golf and he goes out to play his first tournament and as he comes off a particuliarly, not so great round of golf, he says, "Mom, I have decided that I don't love, love golf - do I get to quit?" He has decided, that like his mother (only he is much better) golf is just for fun.